[This page also contained an illustration by Doug Holverson]
spectators are welcome as long as they do not disturb the players. For further details, contact Mark Hagerman or Alan Guile (they'll be around somewhere).
Question: What could possibly be more agonizing than a pun contest? Answer: A !tang apology contest! The first contest of its kind at any convention (as far as we can tell), the rules are simple: come up with the best !tang apology, and recite it for all to hear. The apology deemed best by our esteemed panel of long-suffering judges wins!
The idea for this twisted concept comes from a Joe Haldeman story entitled "A !tangled Web" (originally published in Analog and later re-published in the anthology Dealing in Futures). The !tang (the ! is pronounced as a sort of glottal click) are an alien race with a rather unusual code of etiquette. The slightest social faux pas is immediately followed by a long, ritualized apology. All apologies begin with the phrase, "I die," and end with "All die. O the embarrassment." The lengthy middle section of the apology describes, in graphic detail, the misery the speaker's death causes others. For example:
"…I die. O my hair falls out and my flesh rots and my bones are cracked by the hungry ta!a'an. He drops me behind him all around the forest and nothing will grow where his excrement from my marrow falls. As the years pass the forest dies from the poison of my remains. The soil washes into the sea and poisons the fish, and all die. O the embarrassment." (Reprinted from "A !tangled Web" by permission of the author).
All remorseful individuals interested in participating as contestents are asked to sign up at the registration desk. And DemiCon would like to thank Jim Carroll and Karen Schloss for submitting the contest idea. (Did I spell the names right? No? I die…)
This page created by: Kevin G. Austin